


Ring of Fire

by Blue_Bones



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Music RPF, Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: 2010 - 2017, Adommy, Angst, BFFs, Brief mention of Liz - Freeform, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Glam Nation Tour Mention, Glam Rock, I'm Sorry, Introspection, M/M, Mutual Pining, Queen + Adam Lambert Tour, Swearing, The Original High Era, really not that much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-16 21:26:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8118139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Bones/pseuds/Blue_Bones
Summary: When Adam signs with a new label he knows that things are going to change. What he doesn't know it's that he's not ready to leave everything behind.Loneliness wasn't a new feeling. Being the world-wide famous singer he was, he was used to be alone, when he wasn't touring. He was used to it as much as he was used to tour bus, loud people and zero privacy.





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Phoenixstein (harscrow)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/harscrow/gifts).



> I need to thank so many people, for this. First, to my beta, itsjjoy, you are too patient with me. To Phoenixstein who introduced me to this madness, thank you, now my social life is back to zero.  
> To my second adopted mum, for cheering me when I was about to smash my head against my keyboard and to all the people who patiently waited for me to be done with this story - including my boyfriend, who now knows more about shipping than what he needed.  
> I would like to apologize already for every possible mistake.  
> English is not my first language but I tried my best. The single chapters are not very long because this was a one-shot... I kind of get carried away.  
> I don't own the people represented in this story and all of that.  
> I hope you'll enjoy it! If so, give it a kudos or leave a comment, or both!

Loneliness wasn't a new feeling. Being the world-wide famous singer he was, he was used to be alone, when he wasn't touring. He was used to it as much as he was used to tour bus, loud people and zero privacy. He always prided himself as someone who dealt quite well with the downsides of fame, but here he is. He's watching the contract papers as they could give him the answers he needed.   
He knows, deep down, what he needs to do. Sign the damn papers and take a deep breath and forget about the guilt eating his inside. They all told him so. He didn't really have a choice.  
On the other hand, he knows what he should do, what his heart is telling him to do. Because no matter how many times he said out loud that he would take all of them with him, he can't be sure. He's pretty sure he can't decide shit. Even with all the promises the new label made to him, he knows how things works in the music industry. You never win. You gain something here and you lose someone there. Is he ready to lose them? No. Of course they'll always be there for each other, as friends, as the family they are. But his life is music and tour and press conferences and paps walks and he'll be out of the country more than ever.  
He talked to Isaac about this mess and he told him to think about his career because the Glamily would always be there for him, even if they weren't touring together.  
The main problem is that they are co-dipendent. Because Adam Lambert had always spent more time with his Glamily than with his boyfriend, who he used to live with.  
That and also the fact that Tommy promised to play for him until and after Adam wanted him. And Adam doesn't want to get rid of Tommy Joe. He is best friend in a way that he can't explain.   
They have this way of understanding each other that he never had with anyone else.   
That's why he can't leave them behind. Truth be told, as Isaac said to him just the night before, none of them is unemployed. They all have sides projects.   
His mobile is vibrating but he doesn't care. It's not the first time that evening.   
He's just staring at the papers doing nothing. The Warner Bros. Records sent him the email with his contract to help him decide what to do. He already took it to his lawyer who was more than happy with it, so he should be too.  
He learned the hard way how important is to have an anchor in this shiny, dangerous, world. He has so many friends he shouldn't be so worried about this. He likes changes.  
His style is always changing, he music is always different but this is huge.  
He can't do this.

He will always remember all they did together. They made him feel invincible.

When he was asked to find a someone to play the guitar Adam was hoping Monte would jump in but it took a while to convince him. Monte already had his solo projects and he worked for Madonna. Other than that, Monte was not very glam looking, but Adam trusted him. While Adam had been happy when Monte showed up for the audition, his mind was thinking about the cute guy who showed up for the same position a bit earlier.  
Not only he was a great player, but he also looked like he belonged to Adam's band.   
Adam was pretty sure the guy was more metal inclined then he was, but he wanted him. He was good, he was cute and e seemed like a nice guy.   
After a nice talk with Monte, Adam asked his assistant to call Tommy Joe Ratliff and ask him to try out for the bass part.  
Maybe he could have picked someone better at playing bass — not that Tommy wasn't good enough, he just wasn't the best — but the feeling of him playing for Adam was just right.   
It was like Tommy was already in tune with the band and, more importantly, with him.

They helped him in any way someone can be helped. Despite what he might have said in the later interviews, he was afraid he had ruined his chance in the music industry. He knew what the world was saying and between the anger and the sadness for the double standards and all, there was a mental break down.  
The AMA's performance wasn't as good as he hoped and kissing Tommy wasn't planned, and all the stress of rehearsal and the fact that they had to switch Tommy from the bass to the keyboard. And all the world seemed to care about was that kiss. His voice sounded awful and all the people cared about was that damn kiss.   
A good one, mind you, but still part of the show. He liked pushing the boundaries in the society closed mind, but he was a singer. Nobody talked shit about Madonna o Britney for doing the same.   
But none of the others had asked him what the hell he had in is mind- or in his pants, for the matter.   
Not that he knew what he was thinking, but Tommy was fine with it. Tommy had kissed him back, for a fraction of second. Tommy was totally cool with Adam kissing him on stage.   
Adam had learned that Tommy was a very affectionate friend, and he didn't mind. He was like that himself. They had very similar opinions even if Tommy was more into Metal than Adam.   
So, Tommy liked putting up a show for their fans and Adam wasn't complaining at all. He knew that Tommy liked girls but if he could kiss him without consequences-- well, why not.   
Adam wasn't one for wasting opportunities. He was having fun, kissing a good-looking guy and living his dream. He didn't have time for relationship anyway.

Adam is on the couch thinking about how fast things had changed after that.

He had met Sauli not long after and they hit off from the start. Sauli was easy-going and funny, charming and beautiful, too. Sauli knew how crazy his life was, so they decided to take it slowly. They weren't really serious anyway. Both of them were too busy with their life, and they were fine with it. They were just having fun.  
Everybody loved Sauli, they befriended him and Adam really liked the guy, he was not in love, but it wasn't like he had the possibility to find his soul mate and then leave him for months to go on tour. He talked to Sauli about that and they both had agreed that they were on the same page. Their work was more important.   
The one who wasn't on board with that idea, though, was his label. They wanted to _stabilize_ his image. Because being gay, out and sexy was not a thing in the good old industry.   
They didn't tell him straight away. It was more like a slow, inevitable, car accident. You see it coming when it's too late.  
They started telling him that it was fine if he wanted Sauli at the events with him, or at his concerts. And Adam was fine with it because Sauli was a good boyfriend or whatever they were and some events could get really boring.  
They just weren't in love. They were fine with spending time apart, and Adam could tell Sauli wasn't the one. He had a thing for love, okay? He was a sucker for-- well, honestly more the one thing; but mostly he dreamed about it. The faceless one.   
If his public image was sexy and transgressive, he was vanilla and romantic. What could top the idea of laughing with your best friend? There wasn't leather and sex in the world that could top that. Not in his opinion anyway.   
He did like his glam image, the rock 'n' roll and singing, touring with the others, smiling until it hurts because of some stupid shit someone said, probably Tommy, because he was weird that way.

He just can't stay in the situation he is now. He can't accept all the bullshit and the low quality promo they plan for him. He can't accept to put himself after what they want.  
He can't accept to fake-live with his boyfriend, even if Sauli was his boyfriend, just because his label doesn't want him to look too much of a gay stereotype.

They didn't say anything after the AMA's just because his fans blew up every social media with support. And because they didn't care that much anyway, even if he saw their glances. That was one of the reasons he and Tommy planned the others on-stage kisses. Rock 'n' roll, bitches. Fanservice for the audience, pissing off his label and having fun. And the haters could kiss his not so sorry ass.  
Or, that's what Tommy said anyways, so Adam agreed because why fucking not.  
It was better than having a mental breakdown.

But now no more kissing, no more Sauli, because, after two years of being kinda friend, kinda boyfriends living together but never seeing each other, they were both tired of even trying. They are friends, now, and it works so much better, and Adam can drink wine on his couch and spend hours working out and he can sing whenever he wants. Adam was truly happy when Sauli took the opportunity to leave and go back in Finland for his work.   
Adam is all about following your dreams. That's why he and Monte don't talk anymore. Monte could have just told him instead of fucking off to nowhere.  
He has been staring at the papers for hours now. It's about midnight and the only light in the house is the lamp in the living room. The sound of silence is broken by someone opening the door and Adam blinks up, following the noise with his eyes. He's quite sure he know who the fucker is.   
He smiles when Tommy enters the living room, wide awake with two beers in his hands, smiling like a maniac.   
"These," he says, waving the beers "are for me. You can drink your expensive wine and watch me." And he sits on the floor, sprawled like he is trying to occupy all the floor. Even if he's too tiny and he looks like a little kitten.   
"And don't watch me like that, you creep!" He says with a wink "don't wanna your dick in ma pants just to be left in the mornin'" and Adam can't even bother to try to keep a straight face.  
"You little shit!" Adam says, laughing "And what are you doing here anyway?"  
"Definitely not little--" Tommy replies smirking. Oh, that boy! "And I'm here to make you sign the stupid thing" he answers. Adam tries to say something but Tommy isn't finished "Keep your lies for yourself, dude. And sign the damn paper or, I swear, I'll put the worst horror in the history of cinema and I'll start singing."  
And that's really it, for Adam. That's what he needed. While he decided to follow his dream again. When he choose music again. He is still doing it with one of his best friend, making horrible puns and laughing is ass off.   
"If you're trying to seduce me with the size of your dick, I have to say it, Tommy. It's hard to surprise me." Adam says, showing his tongue and looking at his lap with a raised brow.  
"My dick is just fine, I wouldn't want a monster dick in my pants anyway" Tommy replies.  
"You sure?" Hints Adam, the pun so inevitable he's already smiling like an idiot.  
"Shut up, Adam" Tommy answers him, throwing him a pillow and hitting him in the head, red wine all over his white shirt. And they are laughing all over again.


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Adam signs with a new label he knows that things are going to change. What he doesn't know it's that he's not ready to leave everything behind.  
> Loneliness wasn't a new feeling. Being the worldwide famous singer he was, he was used to be alone, when he wasn't touring. He was used to it as much as he was used to a tour bus, loud people, and zero privacy.
> 
> Part II: Adam's life is so busy he barely has time to speak with the people he loves. Except for the people he's on tour with. So he's never in his hotel rooms. Always partying and visiting places.  
> He can't really find himself to be alone, thinking. He did it twice and it was a complete disaster. A crying mess.  
> That wasn't him. Adam loves performing. He loves the rush of people loving and singing. He loves being busy, doing something with his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, to my beta, itsjjoy, you are too patient with me. Second, to Phoenixstein, I hope this still cheer you up a bit. I love you a lot. We all know that's the only reason I'm writing a long fic after four years.  
> Third, thanks for the love and the comments in the first chapter! You guys really helped me believing in myself and in this story.  
> Not much else to say. The third part is half ready. That's why I waited so long to post this one. I was going to post this chapter after finishing part number 3, but my health is not making it possible so I hope to update this in a couple of weeks. If I don't, please be patient. I've been at the hospital more than usual, lately, and it takes a lot of energy out of the little one left by my insomnia. BUT, I will finish this. Hopefully before Christmas!  
> I also want to thank Adam Lambert for taking his time to wish Tommy a Happy Birthday and Tommy Joe to taking is sweet ass time answering back.  
> They know we still live for these little things.  
> As always, I would like to apologize already for every possible mistake.  
> English is not my first language but I tried my best. The single chapters are not very long because this was a one-shot... I kind of get carried away. Just saying, the third chapter should have been the last one but-- yep, not happening.  
> I don't own the people represented in this story and all of that.  
> I hope you'll enjoy it! If so, give it a kudos or leave a comment, or both!

"Good morning, motherfucker!" Adam was so not a morning person. Not with Tommy talking in his ears anyway.  
He is grumbling something when Tommy hands him a warm mug of coffee, and maybe he can work with that.  
His limbs are complaining because he apparently fell asleep on the couch. His face feels so swollen and he must look like a tanned panda.  
"Why did I sleep here?" He asks Tommy.  
"Because if you think I can carry you to your bedroom you clearly have been missin' something. Like the fact that you are a fuckin' giant." Tommy says and Adam spared him a glance.  
"You could have woken me," because his back is hurting like hell right now "and it's not my fault you're so tiny."  
"That's why I didn't fucking wake you up, grumpy ass," Tommy says, pouting a little. That, and maybe because Adam looks so cute when he sleep, but Tommy is not gonna fill Adam's ego.  
The coffee is waking Adam up nicely, so he finally opens his eyes and he stares at Tommy "Are those my clothes?" Because they certainly look too big on Tommy little body.  
"Of fucking course they are. Didn't know you had a jumpsuit in that kinky closet of yours." Tommy's skinny jeans are left on the other couch and he would probably kill him for that, but he is too tired.  
"What time is it?" Adam asks, his voice still sleepy.  
"Six a.m., I think?" Tommy replies and Adam decides he can surely live without his best friend.  
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He says, closing his eyes again and trying to stand up, walking to his bedroom, because there is no way in hell is going to wake up at six in the morning on his free time.  
"No-- but I was bored." And Adam scoffs but then he asks "Did you sleep at all?" And Tommy just shrugs.  
"Not good, you could have woken me earlier, glitterbaby" He's half teasing, half serious. He really doesn't like Tommy's insomnia.  
"Come here," Adam says, opening his arms "cuddle time for the pretty kitty."  
And Tommy silences him but he eventually follows Adam to bed and he seems to make himself even smaller.  
Adam smiles fondly while he wraps his arms around Tommy "Sleep now".  
But Tommy is already asleep.

After that, Adam's life has been all studio, promo, tour for The Original High release and another tour with Roger and Brian. He spent Christmas Eve with all his friends and then he was off to Australia to film the X-Factor auditions and after a couple of weeks at home, he was back on the road with the Queen. 

Adam's life is so busy he barely has time to speak with the people he loves. Except for the people he's on tour with. So he's never in his hotel rooms. Always partying and visiting places.  
He can't really find himself to be alone, thinking. He did it twice and it was a complete disaster. A crying mess.  
That wasn't him. Adam loves performing. He loves the rush of people loving and singing. He loves being busy, doing something with his life. Somehow, though, he feels lonely and homesick. He can't quite figure what is not right, but there's something missing. It's not just one single piece of him, it's like a big-- huge hole in his heart.  
Being on tour with Roger and Brian helps because he can look back and interact with them.  
Adam will never admit his playlist is kinda emo-ish and filled with so many sad songs; he's really impressed with his acting skills because he's actually able to not cry in public.  
Well, maybe Brian keeps watching him with worried eyes, but nobody says anything, so it's fine.  
And it doesn't mean anything if his heart goes all warm when he sees that Tommy has tweeted something. Adam knows very well that Tommy does that sometimes when his insomnia is keeping him awake. Yes, Adam has Tommy tweet notification on, so what?  
It keeps him company when he feels melancholic. And Tommy doesn't tweet very often anyway.  
They text, sometimes, because Tommy knows Adam and he just figured he could use someone to talk to. Adam has told him all about the weird feeling in his chest when he goes on stage. He explained how he's better now, but he's worrying for the next album and the next tour and Tommy has told him to shut the fuck up and stop over thinking and Adam just did.  
Adam knows that anybody else could have said the same thing but he wouldn't have listened to them. But now, Tommy is trying to understand what is going on with Adam, he keeps texting him and sending him photos of Etta, and he listens to Adam, writing him through his crisis.  
It's not really Tommy who helps Adam figuring out what's wrong. He's just talking with fucking Brian May, listening to one of his stories back when Freddie was alive and they, somehow, end up talking about how hard it is for them to be on stage without him. Because they were a family, and yes, they are honoring the family and keeping the memory alive and, of course, Adam is doing a great job and they are happy he's with them, but there is an empty space in their heart every time they perform. Freddie was the leader, the genius, and sometimes people just confuse Freddie with the Queen as if without him they are nothing. And they are too old to be hurt by that. It hurts more when you close your eyes and you are playing, doing what you love the most in the world, and your hand and fingers just know what to do, without thinking, and you open your eyes, searching for your best friends, for your band mates, and someone is missing.  
There is no way to fill that hole, you just live with it and deal with it. You grow used to the aching, to the sadness, and you keep doing what you love because otherwise there is nothing in this world for you.  
And something in Adam's brain just clicks and he breaks into tears with no explanation, hands shaking, his sight blurred. And all other memories of his early years are back, full force, beautiful like the last time his mind touched them.  
Adam knows, rationally, that he didn't anything wrong, that all of it was necessary. He tells that to Brian who simply nods and hands him a beer.  
And they talk some more because none in the Glamily is dead, he can still hug them, kiss them, talk to them, even if he's busy, there is still time.  
All he has to do is work some more and fight for what he wants, now that he knows what it is.  
He doesn't say that to anyone else, he is just back to himself and he's enjoying doing music as always.

When the tour with the Queen ends, Adam is back in L.A. and he's catching up with his mother when Tommy texts him about an audition he got.  
Adam smiles down at his mobile, teasing Tommy about trying out for something he doesn't know nothing about, but Tommy replies make Adam's smile wider: "It wasn't that bad the last time".

The next morning, Tommy is anxious. He didn't sleep at all. He knew he could play the guitar, but he didn't have any idea of what he was auditioning for. He was just tired of being in the same place. Five years searching for something he couldn't seem to find. He talked with Adam about that, because Adam felt the same with his old record label, always trying to push him on things he didn't feel.  
He knew that Adam was happy Tommy wasn't in his band for his last album because he knew Tommy didn't like that kind of music.  
But Tommy would have played with him anyway. It is kinda crazy, to be honest. He's so adamant about the meaning of music and so picky with what he likes. But, somehow, Adam makes everything different, like all he sings means so much. Tommy would gladly learn how to create new notes to have the chance to play with Adam again.  
But Adam moved on and so should have done Tommy. Sometimes Isaac would tease him about Tommy looking in love with Adam and Tommy would send him a death glare because what the fuck.  
Tommy loves Adam, yeah, they are like brothers. Brothers who kissed a couple of hundred times and Tommy would find himself turned on by Adam sometimes, but it's just the adrenaline from Adam's personal energy. Tommy still doesn't know how someone can walk in Adam's personal space and not be turned on. Adam Lambert is objectively fucking hot, his skin is always so warm and his eyes are so deep. Tommy knows his best friend his attractive.  
And Adam Lambert is definitely not someone you should think about in the waiting room for an audition because, a boner in front of a potential boss? Not a good idea.  
A brotherly boner, sure. Tommy is fucking lucky Isaac is not with him. It's not like Tommy is getting laid that much lately, sue him.  
Someone will sue him for sure if he doesn't keep his dick quiet.

When Tommy enters the room, Adam is waiting patiently near the wall. He checks his best friend head to toes. And, Adam is aware that Tommy always looked really good. He can remember his reaction the first time he saw him. But now, Tommy is different. He's still tiny and cute, but his head is up, he is charming the pants off of the receptionist and even if he looks tense, he doesn't look nervous. So, the first thing Adam registers, about Tommy's entrance is how good-looking he is and Adam is not thinking about kissing him. Even if Tommy is used to Adam's hard-ons-- because it happens, on stage, Adam doesn't want to have to explain things.  
It's just really a fatality when Adam's eyes linger on Tommy's hips and he must look confused for a moment, because Tommy Joe Ratliff is semi hard in is skinny jeans. And Adam is not staring, except he is because he can't take his eyes off of his friend.  
He needs to think about something else, but the filter between his brain and his mouth is gone banana and he finds himself saying "What were you thinking about, Tommy Joe?" with a smirk and a nervous laugh. Really, Adam?  
He is thirty-four for fuck's sake, get a grip, man.  
Tommy's cheeks flush bright red against his pale skin but the tiny man doesn't seem bothered.  
"About your fucking mother, Lambert." He replies, easily, and Adam starts laughing because that's how it should be. "What the fuck are you doing here anyway?" Tommy adds, hugging Adam, but keeping his lower body far from Adam's.  
"I'm here to see if you are a right fit for my band, Mr. Ratliff," Adam answers like he's talking with a very dense child.  
Tommy is relaxing again, a playful smile on his lips "You should know how fit I am. Last time we slept together your dick was practically humping my arse through your pants."  
And if that is true nobody has to know.  
"Let's play some music, shall we?" Adam thinks he should really win an Oscar for his poker face. And he's so not singing Lady Gaga in the back of his mind while Tommy is talking with the other people in the room.


	3. Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Adam signs with a new label he knows that things are going to change. What he doesn't know it's that he's not ready to leave everything behind.  
> Loneliness wasn't a new feeling. Being the worldwide famous singer he was, he was used to be alone, when he wasn't touring. He was used to it as much as he was used to the tour bus, loud people, and zero privacy.
> 
> "So ya gonna tell me?" Tommy asks, quietly.  
> "Tell you what?" Adam replies while he hums along Immortals by Fall Out Boy. And Tommy knows better so he just arches an eyebrow at his friend, but Adam doesn't answer so Tommy ads "Why I auditioned for a place in your band, again?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, to Phoenixstein, SURPRISE (?). Second, to my beta, itsjjoy, you are the best. Thanks for waiting for my mind to come back to this story.   
> Third, thanks for the love and the comments in the previous chapters. You, guys, have no idea how much your feedback is important to me.  
> As I write this introduction the fourth chapter is still only in my head, already pushing to be written. All we need is to hope for my health to keep up with my life.  
> As always, I would like to apologize already for every possible mistake.  
> English is not my first language but I tried my best. The single chapters are not very long because this was a one-shot... I kind of got carried away. Just saying, the third chapter should have been the last one but, as you can see, it is not.   
> I don't own the people represented in this story and all of that.  
> I hope you'll enjoy it! If so, give it a kudos or leave a comment, or both!

"So ya gonna tell me?" Tommy asks, quietly.  
"Tell you what?" Adam replies while he hums along Immortals by Fall Out Boy. And Tommy knows better so he just arches an eyebrow at his friend, but Adam doesn't answer so Tommy ads "Why I auditioned for a place in your band, again?"  
And Adam is quiet, too quiet for Tommy to like. Adam is bold and proud and emotional and now he has is business face one and Tommy honestly hate it.  
"I needed a new guitar player and I just-- You are good. Really good, and I understand if you are not interested. Is not your kind of music and I just—" And it's really awkward seeing Adam like this. He always carries himself so effortlessly but now he looks so frustrated Tommy feels kinda bad for asking "Thank you and I'm obviously interested Adam." he smiles and that seems to cheer Adam up.  
"But you said you hated this industry. I know you do. I remember how upset you were after they put you through that PR stunt with the psycho girl. I don't even know because they did that to you." And Tommy is looking at him and he doesn't know if he wants to laugh or cry. Because yeah, Liz, not a good memory of his past in the high-profile industry "Really, Adam? You were with Sauli and half of your fans thought you were in love with me— I don't really know why they did that, yeah." Tommy isn't bitter and he watches Adam pale in horror so he adds "No, no, no. It's not your fault, man. I didn't really care what people thought, I still don't care what people think. I mean, I least you have good taste in man." He laughs off but Adam is silent and serious so Tommy stops.  
"I didn't think it was because of me. I would have— They passed the line. It was fine for me to play up with my relationship with Sauli, it was a good time and we helped each other with our careers but you should never be involved in a stunt because of me." And Tommy is looking at him like Adam is crazy "Man, I've got your back. I would do anything for you. I can't look happy because I can't act for shit but I don't care. If I that means I can play with you, I can go past that and fuck I can play my things at home or with the guys. And I can handle a psycho girl who writes shit about me. It's not like she's the only one who hates me."  
And Adam knows that some of Salubert shippers went totally wild on Tommy but his friend doesn't look bothered.  
"That was shitty of them," Adam says.  
"Yeah, but our shippers weren't much better and see if I fucking care! Did ya even fucking listen to what I just said? Sing me up for this fucking shit and stop being a depressed bitch because I'm not fucking going anywhere unless you fucking kick me out, for real this time." Tommy says, his voice serious and his eyes meeting Adam's blue ones.  
"It's a lot of fucking" Adam laugh, relieved.  
"Ya tell me, I ain't go some in so long." He actually giggles, happy that Adam is less tense.  
"I missed you, fucker." He says, smiling wide. It's the sweetest smile in the world and Tommy can't help but smile back. because if Adam Lambert smiles at you that way you are screwed, hopefully physically before your cock decides to explode.  
And that isn't something Tommy planned on thinking. It just happens. Like it happened to have a boner for Adam in the waiting room a few days earlier and some other times in the past. Not that Adam knows something about it.  
"I missed you on stage, that's why I changed band," Adam says and Tommy heart just stops because he might be weird but this is practically a love declaration and nobody can convince him otherwise.  
"Oh, you miss kissing me on stage, Mr. Lambert?" He teases because it sounded cool in his mind and his brain just melted. It's not like he has any pride or reputation left.  
Adam's car stops in front of Tommy's house and he answers "Maybe" with a smirk and Tommy just needs to get out of the fucking car, like yesterday.

It feels so good, being with Adam, again. His energy on stage is just what Tommy loves the most about all of it and he's pretty fond on playing so that must say something.  
They recorded an amazing album, Adam finally putting his foot down with the record label and Tommy pushing him to write more. It's not like the old times, they are not back in times. They are moving on, but this time it feels right.  
Tommy drags him to meetings with the Glamily and he keeps him grounded and Adam feels like he's himself again. Not because he need Tommy to be himself, but because he helps him not getting lost. He can watch bad movies at ugly hours of the night and goes to do interviews the morning after and he still hangs out with Terrance and goes in places Tommy won't enter if his life depends on it, but it's crazy and perfect at the same time.  
It's not like they are tied together even if Terrance would love to say he's not fooling anyone.  
And it's not really perfect because Tommy Joe is fucking hot and Adam remembers quite well all the after-concert buzz and the need to fuck his best friend in the nearest wall.  
He gets constantly teased and Isaac keeps watching him like an apprehensive father. Adam really doesn't know what is going on with them. They know he would never jeopardize his friendship with Tommy.  
It's not easy. Things keep happening and Adam wants to die of embarrassment, most of the time.  
Like the time Tommy and he were watching The Hateful Eight and they had too many beers and Tommy stood up abruptly to search for some snacks, tripped over his own feet and leaned on Adam's lap.  
Or that other time when he woke up with Tommy's morning wood pressed against his ass. Or, again, when Adam get carried away during rehearsal and grabbed Tommy's hair and he moaned.  
It wasn't anything romantic or cute. It was just awfully unfair. Tommy was just sexually deprived and Adam was too, for completely different reasons.

Tommy and Adam are writing, after rehearsal. The album is done and the promo is going well, they have a performance in a couple of days, but Adam is working on something but he's stuck and Tommy offered to help him.  
They are drinking coffee, Tommy is sitting on the floor, guitar in his lap and he looks at Adam who looks lost in another universe.  
"I'm bi." Tommy blurts out and Adam seems to wake up from his trance.  
"Sorry, I didn't hear. What did you say?" He asks.  
"I'm bisexual." Tommy repeats, his voice barely audible.  
Adam eyes go wide and, for a moment, Tommy swears Adam is about to pass out on him, but the surprise is soon replaced by a smile.  
"Thank you for telling me." He says softly. He is really honored that Tommy decided to tell him something like that. Even for someone like him, this a pretty big deal.  
Tommy hums something like "It's not a big deal."  
Adam wants to scream. It's a fucking huge deal. Quite literally. He goes to sit beside Tommy.  
"When you— How do you— Did you always knew?" He asks.  
"No. I literally woke up one day and found out. Like, really. I know what people gonna say. That I wasn't really straight, that it's just me not wanting to come out as gay, that you turned me gay. Fuck! I don't really care what they say about me." Tommy starts, but Adam his watching him funny so he stops.  
"You are already talking about coming out. You know you don't have to, right?" And Tommy knows, but he wants to.  
"I don't really care. I'm bi and I'm fine with it. I'm fine with telling people. I don't want to make a big of a deal out of this. It's just me. My life, my sexuality, my private life. I want to tell people because I'm not what we told them I am. And, if someone can be inspired by this, I guess I can face the consequences." And Adam is impressed. He knows Tommy must have been doing a lot of research to reach this point.  
"You are the first person I came out to. It feels pretty good, still weird. I mean, it's not a big deal, but it is. I don't fucking know how to explain it." Tommy adds and Adam understands.

Adam feels guilty. It's not the first time he wakes up with a boner, mind you, he's been a man for quite some time now. The problem is not even that he had a wet dream about his best friend. It happened before. It's not like you want to sleep with all the people you dream to have sex with. Except that, Adam really, really, wants to sleep with his best friend. And this is wrong on so many levels he should punish himself for even thinking about Tommy's petite figure and his soft skin and how fucking hot he looks with a light scruff and his pink lips between his teeth and Tommy just came out to him and the first thing Adam does is daydreaming to have sex with him? What kind of friend is he?  
Adam knows that he is insane. The fact that Tommy is bi doesn't mean he has feelings for him and the fact that Adam is not only sexually attracted to Tommy, but he can see them living together and stuff is not right.  
So he just does what he does best. He sings. He sings like he has no cares in the world like it's the only thing it matters. And he closes one eye when Tommy kisses a girl, in the fog of a club, and closes both his eyes when he kisses a boy. And he tries to breathe and he smiles because there is not much else he can do. Isaac is watching him, lips closed in a thin line and eyebrows rose and he looks like he's about to slap somebody- Adam hopes he goes for himself, in the face.  
He knows what Isaac is thinking, but he can't even find the courage to send up and ask Tommy for a dance. Which is absolutely bullshit and Adam bets that's what Isaac, Torrance, Sutan are thinking. The fact that Sutan has stopped dancing just to watch Adam like he is a sort of a freak, speaks volumes. Terrance looks fine like he just knows what is not going to happen and Adam feels a little bit like a disappointment and he feels disappointed in his friends, too, because he can totally understand them, but they should try to think of the consequences of what could possibly happen.  
Adam watches as Isaac just shakes is head and starts to talk with the other two friends and he decides that what the hell. He is Adam Lambert. He knows that things can be hard, he knows that life can suck, but he also knows that this is life. He's used to working harder than anyone else in the room.  
So he downs his drink and makes his way through the dance floor, ignoring all the people who try to dance with him. He is sorry for them, but he's not in the mood and the guy who Tommy is dancing with is trying to convince Tommy to fuck, just by dancing with him. Adam is sure of that.

He gets close to the pair and he taps the guy's shoulder, with an unreadable face on. The guy looks like he wants to protest or punch him really, but he must recognize him and Adam is never been so glad to be famous because the guy is gone in less than one minute and Adam can take his place behind Tommy.  
Tommy doesn't even shift a bit, Adam can't see him, but when he hears his friend speaking he's quite sure Tommy is smiling "Hi, Adam." and he can bearly hear him, with the loud music and loads of people trying to speak over it.  
They are dancing really close, his hands are on Tommy's hips and his brain is trying to keep some blood to himself. He's not an animal, of course. But the music is pounding in his brain and his body and Tommy is doing nothing to help to keep the dancing PG rated.  
He lowers his face to speak in Tommy's ear "Hello, kitten." and his voice is so affected he kinda wish he didn't spoke, but Tommy doesn't seem to mind, he's just dancing weirdly to the beat, rubbing against Adam's body like he wants more and Adam doesn't know what to do but he doesn't really want to go back, now.  
He places a kiss under Tommy's ear and he bites down his shoulder, feeling Tommy's head relax under his breath and his body going still under Adam's touch.  
Tommy lets out a small whimper and his brain starts thinking, but he doesn't care. He takes Adam wrist and presses his fingers into his flesh, feeling Adam's heart beating fast.  
He smiles at himself and turns around to watch him in the eyes. Adam looks surprised and happy but Tommy doesn't pay attention to all the details, he lifts his arm and presses hand on Adam's cheek, smiling back.  
The music is still playing, loud and fast, but time stopping and dust is all Tommy registers in his mind, the colors of the lights and Adam's forehead against his.  
And Tommy can feel Adam leaning in and the time snaps back, moving in a flash. Tommy takes Adam hand and they are out of the club in a blink of an eye. Adam is staring back at Tommy, confused. Tommy is pointing his finger at Adam: "If you think this fucking kiss is gonna be like a fucking teenage kiss from a crappy teenage movie you are fucking wrong, Adam Lambert."


End file.
